@PatThecat-n2l
If I have to hear “and how does that make you feel?” one more time, I may scream!!!
@hushmychild6745
I knew for 15 years I wanted to be a therapist. Psychology and the art of TRULY helping people was my passion. I had a 4.0 in college as I earned my bachelors in psych. To sum things up quickly, I fell severely mentally ill over time. It began with severe general anxiety as a child, then social phobia which turned into agoraphobia so severe I didn't leave my bedroom for years. YEARS. I continue to deteriorate. Drugs, alcohol. Constant sleeping and eating. No friends, no family. No purpose. Depression. Unable to work. In my early twenties, when I was simply highly socially anxious and a drinker, I still functioned as a social worker. Despite my timid nature, I poured MY SOUL into that job. I loved it. But one day, a therapist I worked under revealed something to me I won't ever forget. She said, "No one ever really gets better in therapy. We can only hope to keep them at a baseline." No matter how much I studied or worked with people, there never seemed to be progress anywhere. I felt like I had chosen the wrong path. My boss hated me, and that company wanted me OUT. I quit after two years. Never worked again. Just spiraled. Went to therapy for a decade. Useless. Did TMS. Useless. Over 20+ medications. Useless. Self help, prayer, spirituality. Anything. It was useless. If I were a provider, I would create a concrete step-by-step plan tailored to each and every client. I would have structure, assign reasonable goals. I disliked the dry, clinical approach that I saw and experienced on both sides of the desk; I knew people needed to be comforted and nurtured on top of guided and understood. When people are very, very sick, I've learned that one hour a week of talk therapy is not enough. I don't know how to implement this idea, but many people need active, well trained mental health professionals engaged in their daily lives. Just like going to the gym to get fit or sticking to a diet, I think more intervention is needed for the ones who are struggling the most. I noticed that the most severely afflicted were usually totally isolated, living on the fringes of society. When people are in such a vulnerable position, they desperately, DESPERATELY need a community. Perhaps even a surrogate family. And that is incredibly difficult to build when you are suffering so badly and don't have the tools to build that for yourself. We that are suffering need so many, many things to get better. A sense of belonging, community. Purpose. Professional guidance. Hands on intervention. Concrete action to achieve reasonable goals. Not airy, loose, feely one hour sessions once a week.
@xTIYx
You perfectly described my experience with therapy. From the first session I told her I reached out to her because I needed tools to process emotions. After months of wasting time and money telling her how I feel week after week, I just stopped it and used the therapy money to buy a bunch of art supplies. Art became my tool to process emotions, and every time I consider going back to therapy I think I could buy fancy paper instead
@janecroft
My cat's purring was far more healing for me in a serious crisis than my therapist's silence.😺
@xadok
this is why i can't stand how so many people say "just go to therapy" and act like people just aren't trying to get better when they quit therapy, most people think it will magically fix your mental illness
@sinclaire5479
I legit started a habit tracker and started studying philosophy because none of the therapists around where i live are worth a damn. Im taken the time to celebrate my small wins each day and i am doing it out of sheer stubborn spite because im tired of my depression beating my butt
@ienjoyfoods
I was gaslight by my therapist. Entire psychiatry told me that it was my fault that I felt the way I did with a few exceptions. I now know that it isn't my fault. I got the right medication for my bipolar disorder which drastically changed my life to the better. I pretty much figured out everything else on my own after getting the right medication. Today I am well on my way to achieve my highest dream which is to attend university. In two years time I will be able. I just need to finish some high school courses so I can get my high school diploma.
@AW-xc1xc
My first therapist realized after my first year going to her that she didn't have the tools to help me, so we talked about it and she sent me to another therapist who was more specialized in what I had trouble with. I've made so much progress now and I'm eternally grateful to my first therapist for realizing that she couldn't help me, but in a way, still did.
@7rin
Therapy doesn't help normal reactions to abnormal circumstances. However, too often those of us experiencing this are catalogued as having mental issues, instead of recognising we're actually being normal and healthy.
@sunnyb2982
I think, what makes it especially challenging when you're mentally ill is that, a lot of things that significantly effect you, are out of your control. In therapy, you're taught to focus on what you can control, but so much of what you can't control is what really makes your mental illness flare up. You can try your best to control how you respond, communicate clearly, advocate for yourself, make plans, etc. But if the people around you aren't willing or able to do that also, it makes it so much harder. Not to mention how hard it is to force yourself to do all this stuff, just to encounter road block after roadblock. Its just hard. Even when you do make changes, its just not enough. Say shitty work environments trigger you. You try to fix that by going to a new job, but that job is just as shitty. You try to find something making more money, but nothing wants to pay you. You struggle to afford things and you try to get your life together, but it's hard to make lasting change when some things remain societal issues. Its hard. Im doing the best i can, but i still get discouraged.
@livinglargecoachingcounseling
OMG!! You nailed it 150%. Most therapists mean well, but most clinical social workers and many master level clinicians really do not have the educational background and training to provide much beyond light counseling. They are unable to offer the kind of care those with complex PTSD and serious mental health issues like complex grief, chronic depression, panic disorder, and agoraphobia need. There is no collaborative process, sessions lack structure, and there are no treatment goals. And after 6 months of asking, "So, how are you doing?', therapists often become disinterested and distracted keeping the person stuck, especially if they have serious loss and life transition issues. Thank you for telling the truth. For most people, finding a truly good therapist is a nightmare.
@annettesonnenberg7606
Very profound and true. I went to therapy for years and realized I could be talking to a brick wall for the amount of helpful feedback I received.
@ZanyCat
Finally! This video explains my exact experience with therapy and why I game up on it. I'm an autistic ADHD person with PTSD and bouts of depression. I've tried to get therapy 4 separate times, and each time it hasn't worked out. There was always this sense of hope at first that finally things would get better, but then it feels like I am talking to a brick wall and that I am wasting my time and money doing so. I've had much better experiences talking to friends who would listen and understand and actually be there for me than a therapist that legally isn't allowed actually be my friend or help in any meaningful way. Because of this I've felt a sense of enmity towards therapists, and I get angry whenever I see BetterHelp ads or when people say "you should seek help" when I already know that I have tried and failed. I have learned way more about my mental health from watching YouTube videos than I have from the people that were getting paid to help me.
@Pomoscorzo
My relationship with my mother drove me crazy for decades. No therapist or other "expert" could tell me what was the matter. Some accused me of being a bad child who had no regard for her mother's feelings and no gratitude for all that she had done for me. (They didn't know her or what she had done to me; they just believed the old cliché that every mother is a saint.) Doing a lot of research, I realized that she has all signs of a heavy personality disorder. This was a huge relief: no amount of love, patience and understanding can repair a personality disorder, so our situation wasn't my fault. I didn't want a therapist to hear me out for years. I just wish at least one of them, who allegedly have studied psychology and have years of experience under their belt, had told me this plain and simple truth. After that, the journey uphill was long, but I was on my way.
@Ryanneey
Oh my gosh, I've said this a million times. Every time I start therapy, they ask, "So, how are you doing today?" Then, we spend 20 minutes talking about it. Then, I look at the clock and think, "I don't want to get into deep topics because now we only have, like, 30 minutes left, and I don't have time," so I keep things superficial. Repeat. I might as well just be getting coffee with a friend because it's basically the same thing at this point.
@crochetology12
Thank you for this! For decades I thought I was the odd one out because talk therapy has always left me more anxious than I was before my appointment!
@danielc9282
Man, I got so lucky with my therapist and I didn't fully realize that until now. I wish you all good luck, good folks are out there.
@Deutscher256
My friends are the best therapists for me because they talk about themselves and I relate to them. Connection is hugely healing.
@pamela9270
After all my years of suffering, I have learned that the most sane people are the ones like me. Beaten down by others, but we are the ones who take it to heart. Usually more isolated because of that. Family issues and lack of support. We're usually more intelligent and kind. Maybe some physical health issues. We have sought out therapy but haven't really gotten anywhere. Some have been hurt more by that. I believe we are the "normal" ones. I think everyone else needs help. It's just a tough world to live in, and I only see it getting worse, unfortunately. 💝
@QGBFH