GET OUT OF MY CAR but I made edits by total randomness

I didn't know how I wanted to go about doing this, it seems like everyone who has done their own edit of this has written a "script" for it, but I'm impatient so I thought, what would happen if I just made stuff up as I go along?

Well, here's what happened.

1 Like = 1 bowl of ramen noodles
1 Subscribe = 1 more recruit in my quest to defeat the Dark Lord of Substitution